Wedding Speech3

Wedding Speech-3

I would like to ask Beccy’s father David to say a few words I would now like to call on Justin who would like to thank a fewpeople

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far. It’s been an emotional day, ……..even the cake is in tiers.

I would like to start by thanking Justin for his kind words on behalf of our lovely bridesmaid Kirsty. I’m sure you will agree she has carried out her role superbly, I would also like to thank the ushers…… for at least turning up sober.

I think you will all agree Beccy looks one in a million today ...as opposed to Justin who looks like he was won in a raffle.
For those of you who don’t know me, I am Justin’s cousin, Neil. And I have the honour of being his best man. And it is a great honour, but in all honesty I am actually a little nervous doing this, but I feel a bit comforted by the fact I have actually rehearsed this speech in front of a live audience at the local old peoples home, …

I think it went well,they all pissed themselves anyway.

.I’d also like to congratulate Justin on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

During the service today I couldn’t help thinking its funny how history repeats itself, I mean it was 30 years ago David and Carol were sending their daughter to bed with a dummy………and it’s happening all over again today.

I have known Justin all my life, he has always loved sport especially football, from an early age it was obvious he was a natural defender, he loved to get stuck in.
It’s a shame he hasn’t carried that over to his working life, Richie has started calling him god at work because he never see’s him, ….and if he ever does any work it’s a miracle.

Now Just has always taken great pride in his appearance, some people have even said he is vain, I never believed this……much, until the morning we got to the airport to fly off for his stag weekend, he seemed to have a glow about him, all the boys were asking him if he had been using tanning lotion, Justin denied it profusely, after another pint and a lot of abuse he tried to fob us off with the excuse that he was in such a rush when he got up, that in his haste he had mistakenly put Beccy’s moisturiser on which had tanning in it, sufficed to say he was set upon then until he finally admitted that he bought the stuff himself.

I just don’t know how he thought he would get away with it, it was snowing the week before.
I thought I had better find out some interesting events that happened on the day he was hatched, sorry born.

He was born on the 11th of September 1977 which was a sunday, number one in the charts was Elvis with ‘way down’, now the only other event I found of any importance in this month was the introduction of free family planning.

Now I wouldn’t say Just was an ugly baby, but pat only had morning sickness after he was born.
He was a slightly slow starter as well, at playschool he was different from the other 5 year olds, he was 11.
I remember one day sitting in pizza hut, when the waiter asked if he would like his pizza cut into 4 or 8 pieces, Justin’s reply was . .

. . You better make it 4 because I’ll never manage 8.

We have always been close, when we were young we would always be playing something driving our respective parents mad, I remember when Ghostbusters the film was at the cinema, we would be upstairs at Rich and Pat’s with all the lights out jumping around like a couple of lunatics pretending to be catching ghosts, our equipment for this was a school backpack and a wire coat hanger each. Well I have a present,……….something you can play with later.……………..

Now comes the part of the wedding speech where the embarrassing photo’s come out,
I’m sure you will have noticed there are some numbered envelopes on your tables, if you would all like to open envelope number 1,
This is a rare photo, Justin has always said he can never seem to get drunk, at one point he was going to the doctor he was so concerned. but all it took was a few drinks with Tude and Spence and you can see the end result for yourselves.

Now if you all open number 2.……..Justin has been accused in the past of talking too much, well in this photo he talked that much even his ass went to sleep

One of my last duties before I toast the happy couple is to read a few cards……

To Justin and Becky , hope you have a wonderful day, sorry we can’t be there lots of love Charles Farkin, Mary Farkin ….and the whole Farkin family

I would like to say best of luck to the two of you , I really am absolutely delighted for both of you. I hope you have a long and happy future together.
And thank you Justin, it really has been a great honour to be your best man, you are more like a brother to me and Nev than a cousin.
It now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to the new Mr & Mrs Harris.. To Justin and Beccy Thank you and enjoy the rest of the day.
Wedding Speech-2...

Wedding Speech2

Wedding Speech2

Before I undertake the customary duty of giving Martin an uncomfortable few minutes it is part of the official duty of the best man to thank Martin on behalf of the bridesmaids, Sezan, Canan
and Clare for his kind words and for having them play a part of this really special day. I have to say they all look wonderful and have done an excellent job. Indeed they are only eclipsed by Arzu herself, who, I''m sure you''ll all agree, looks absolutely stunning.

It is a great privilege to be asked by Martin to be his best man. He has quite generously returned the favour that I asked of him 6 years ago, during which Martin took the opportunity to make lots of cheap jokes at my expense, so I now have the right to reply.

I suppose the first thing the best man should explain is how he knows the groom. Well, being his identical twin we first met long before we can both remember, so we are very close. There''s nothing I wouldn''t do for Martin, likewise there''s nothing Martin wouldn''t do for me, in fact we spent most of our time doing nothing for each other.

I will start at the point of our early life as toddlers.

Growing up together in those early days, I am proud to say that I was an angelic child, no trouble to anyone, but the same could not be said of Martin. He showed no respect to his elder twin brother. I became an innocent victim of his loutish behaviour. &quotLloyd, flush you socks down the toilet" he used to say. And under duress I did.

But that lout grew up into the well-mannered and well-presented individual we see sitting here today. Martin has matured. For instance I can tell you that Martin is very well read - he has
after all read all 45 of the Mr Men books from cover to cover. In fact, at the age of five, whilst living in Australia, Martin had a great idea to wander off into the dense, wild outback behind our
house to look for Mr Jelly, whom he had read lived in the middle of a forest. He convinced me to go with him and we got terribly lost.
By the time we had found our way home, there were lots of tears. Not for the fact that he had been lost in a forest, but that Martin never found Mr Jelly''s house.
On the subject of Australia, it was there that Martin began a love affair which still lasts to this day.McDonalds. Age six, we were ever so excited to make our first visit to McDonalds..and the great thing about this place was the kids playground - it was like a mini-theme park - things to climb, things to slide down, things to spin around in.all for the enjoyment of children who had just
scoffed their face with burgers and fries. It was whilst Mum, Dad, Verity and I were sat inside the restaurant that Martin, having just stepped of the swings, appeared the other side of the
window.knocking loudly so that everyone in the restaurant noticed him. My parents played along and waved back...until Martin, in full sight of everyone tucking into their lunch, brought up his fast food as quickly as it had originally gone down, all over the window pane.

Suddenly my parents stopped waving and momentarily tried to pretend he wasn''t theirs, although sadly as Martin''s twin was sat with them at their table, they couldn''t fool anyone. The waitress gave them some reassurance.&quotDon''t worry guys, that happens here all the time."

His love of fast food however never stands in the way of his enjoyment of sport. Martin usually waits until half time to get off the sofa to ring for a pizza.
Some of you may be aware of his passion for cricket. What many of you don''t know is that his interest in the sport was borne during his time at school. Martin is a modest man - well, that''s what he has insisted I tell you - so his cricket achievements are little known. But I can reveal today that at school, Martin SCORED more runs than any other person in the entire cricket team - that was because he was always 12th man putting up the numbers the scoreboard at the pavilion.

After school, Martin went on to study environmental science at Kings College London. I am told by his friends many of whom are here today that Martin had a natural flair for the subject. They tell me that no matter how remote a place Martin was sent away on field trips, he could gauge and interpret the direction of the wind, the contamination of the soil and the pollution of the air to produce an accurate assessment of where the nearest local pub was to skive off to have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps.

But Martin had to fund his extra curricular activities. Being a student with far too much time on his hands and always in need of an extra few quid, Martin decided to exploit a promotional campaign at Selfridges, the famous department store on London''s Oxford Street. The deal was that customers were entitled to a 㾶 voucher if they purchased an item from all seven floors. Martin managed to get round the store and buy small items which came to the grand total of 37
pence. It was an all time record amongst his fellow students.
Selfridges had no choice but to pay out the voucher, which Martin then redeemed for cash. What''s more impressive or should I say sad is that he did this seven times in one day to walk away with a hard earned . Unsurprisingly, Selfridges ended their promotional campaign rather abruptly.

Although Martin studied environmental science, I began to doubt his true commitment to the green cause when he purchased his first car after leaving university a Volkswagen Beetle. Now, I''m not sure what year the Beetle was made, though I believe the front of the car was made in the early nineties and the rear of the car some years before. Martin spent hours in that car, usually trying to get it to start. It was the only vehicle that you wouldn''t use a traditional road atlas or street map to navigate your journey. Martin''s Beetle was so economically inefficient and powerless that he had to plot his routes using an ordinance survey map to make sure that his

entire route was downhill. With careful planning, Martin could achieve this and the only flaw was making the return journey home by the same route.
Being Martin''s older twin, by a whole five minutes, I realise Martin that you have now reached the age that I was when I started this speech and with that you will gained the maturity and wisdom that I had back then. So this is probably a good time to for me to show some respect.

Joking aside, I want to say what a privilege it is today to be your best man. I couldn''t wish for a better brother and how much you mean is really impossible to put into words. The whole family is proud of you Martin, and we are all thrilled to see you marrying your beautiful bride Arzu today So it now gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand once more and raise your glasses in a toast for Martin and Arzu. We wish them well for the future. To love, life, laughter and happily ever after.. Martin and Arzu.
Wedding Speech....

Wedding Speech1

Wedding Speech1

Right, so where do I start! What the hell took them so long?
Before we get to the ritual character assassination of the groom that forms the basis of a traditional best man’s speech I would like to thank Jason for his kind words about the bridesmaids who of course looked gorgeous and did a fantastic job.

It was a great honour to be asked by Jason to be his best man on this important day in his life.
I wanted to do the job justice so I decided some research was needed so I turned to the internet.
I set out to search for information on the responsibilities of the best man along with some hints and tips but as anyone who has used the internet will know, it is very easy to get side tracked
especially when the wife’s out I am told by my married friends.
Anyway after being side tracked for few hours I got back to my research on best man type things.

Joking aside I did find some interesting stuff on continental drift.
I know you didn’t come here for a lecture on plate tectonics and geography but this is interesting stuff.
Apparently the continents of Europe and America are moving towards each other at a rate of about 5 cms a year. Now this is very slow progress. Scientists have actually created a scale to measure things that move very slowly known as the Jason Murch scale as it based on the time it has taken him to make an honest woman of Christine!
Actually when Jason asked me to be best man my first thought was bloody hell I need to make a speech.
What am I going to talk about?
My research told me that my speech should involve some humorous stories at the groom’s expense, well character assassination really.
I once went to a wedding and the best man stood up and explained how the groom being a man who had led a chaste and quiet life had given him very little juicy material for off colour and racy stories to fill his best man’s speech.

Well the good news is that is not the case with Jason….. the bad news is that I have so much material we could be here for some time so I hope you are all sitting comfortably and have no pressing engagements for a few hours.

No of course I am only kidding…………. I do have plenty material but 90% of it’s not fit for public consumption…. There was the cast of the ladyboys of Bangkok, the goat….

I know a lot of people here are probably wondering just what does Christine see in Jason?

Well I have known him a long time and too be fair….I don’t know either!
It could be his work ethic. We first met when we were both reps flogging carpet.
Jason used to make numerous trips to Chippenham and back. This wasn’t actually to visit customers but rather because he was at home most of the time but needed to put some miles on the car to at least make it looked like he did some work.
Jason now works as a training consultant.
He showed some early promise in this field by training Christine to answer the phone to the boss and always tell him Jason had left the house hours ago despite still being in bed.
Despite this unusual approach to selling Jason was very successful.
He was guest of honour at a distributor annual awards do. I am sure it was just a misunderstanding that led to a night as a guest of the Berkshire constabulary! I believe a drink had been taken.

So to get back to the question, just what does Christine see in Jason… probably not the work ethic then….maybe his romantic nature?
As anyone who knows Jason and Christine knows they like travel, in fact they have visited so many far off places so often they have a bigger carbon footprint than Alan Wicker. Scientists have estimated they are personally responsible for about 15% of global warming and the submerging of some low lying islands!

They have visited many places including Rome The Vatican City , Venice St Marks Square the Doges Palace, The Bridge of Sighs, Las Vegas The strip, The Bilagio Hotel, New York Carriage rides through Central Park, The Empire State Building, some very romantic places.

Ideal for a proposal of marriage you may think.
Well that may be true but Jason chose something else, he chose something altogether less salubrious though he maintains just as romantic, ********’s cabaret club and fish and chip restaurant in Las Americas, Tenerife, I am not saying it is rough…actually I really am not saying it is rough because if the owners find out they would probably have me shot!

So not the Work ethic or Romance, I guess it will have to remain, like why men have nipples and women go to the toilet in pairs …. One of life’s great mysteries.
Although Christine did actually tell me Jason has always brightened up her life.

Well she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.
To be truthful Jason and Christine have shared many romantic moments I would like you to both share one with us all here today.
Christine please can you put your right/left hand flat on the table and Jason please can you place yours on top of it.
Marvellous, I would like you to remember and treasure this moment forever….the last time you will have the upper hand Jason.
On a more serious note I have known both Jason and Christine for many years and value their friendship immensely. Jason has always been a great friend and they have both always been there whenever I have needed them.

I would also like to thank Christine for countless Sunday lunches and use of the spare bedroom despite leading her husband from the path of righteousness on occasion.
I know rolling in at 3.30 in the morning and waking you up wasn’t funny but at the time it did seem so and I know as an understanding wife there will be many such occasions in the future…or not as the case may be.

It has been a privilege knowing you both and I feel both your families have become almost like a second family to me. I have got to know all your kids. Jason’s mum and dad and Christine’s late
father Alan who I am sure would have been very happy to see how beautiful she looks today.

Before I finish I have a couple of messages to read out from people who couldn’t be here today.
Jason’s son Wesley couldn’t be here today and sends his best wishes, I think the only person more disappointed than Wesley about him not being here is the guy that has to fight him in the cage later tonight.

There is also a card from those guys from the Avon Packet Cricket club. It says, ‘Jason was useless in all positions but we hope Christine has more luck with him later’ not sure what that means but anyway…
Ladies and gentlemen I would like you all to be upstanding etc......
Wedding Speech...
wedding-speech2.

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride

You may well be wondering what the Bride is doing making a wedding speech.

Well, those of you who know me well, know that I always have talked too much and usually find a way to get my two cents worth in so it probably is no surprise! I also wanted to say thank you to those deserving in my own words.

When I met Ray, I was totally off men and relationships, so it is a more than a little surprising to find myself standing here just under two years later! I have my sister to thank for this remarkable conversion, as she was the Cilla Black wannabe who got us together – with all the subtlety of Blind Date I might add. Her favorite trick was to invite Ray to come for drinks with her and I and then suddenly “remember” she’d left the iron on or hadn’t fed the cat or any other such nonsense.

Of course this was highly embarrassing and cringe-making but I am so very grateful to Donna for knowing us both better than we knew ourselves, knowing that we should be together and putting us in each others’ lives.

She has been a great Bridesmaid and she has helped a lot over the last few months; not least in the organisation of a top hen party - the details of which follow the time honoured code of “What goes on tour, stays on tour”! Donna not only is the best sister a girl could ever have but she is also my very bestest friend and has been my idol since I arrived in this world. Thank you so much for everything, not least for loving me. This is just a small gift as a token of our love and appreciation.

While I am on thanking there are a few more that I would like to do and I promise to be brief!
Firstly thanks to all of you for coming and thank you for the wonderful gifts – we’ll look forward to opening them when we get back from honeymoon. I know that most of you took time off work and travelled a long way to be here and I want to say how much it means to us to share our day with the family and friends that love us.

Sadly not everyone could be with us and I would especially like to mention Ray’s Grandfather, George who sadly passed away last year and my favourite Aunt, Auntie Kissie who has been very ill and wasn’t well enough to make the journey. They are both sorely missed here today.

Secondly I want to thank Ivor – the best best man – he has done a fantastic job, although depending on the contents of his speech, I may retract this!!!! Seriously he has been an amazing support to Ray and has done us both proud in his role. Thanks Ivor for making our day that little bit more special and for not shaving Ray’s hair off on the stag night.

Thanks also to Belinda, my wicked step-mother! – the reading was beautiful and thank you for agreeing to do it. Thanks also for getting my Father here on the right day, at the right time and in the right clothes. Here’s a little something for you to thank you for everything.
I’d like to say a few words about my Mom and Dad. They have been the best parents a girl could wish for and they are also my friends. My Mom is the most amazing person and she taught me to be independent from a very young age. I’m sure Ray would NOT thank her for this as I am incredibly stubborn as a result - but it always made me aware that when I did get married, if I got married, it would be to the right man at the right time and that is certainly true. She is also
an incredibly talented singer, which I’m sure those of you who heard her sing earlier will agree. It was beautiful and meaningful and I’ll remember it forever – thank you so much Mom.

My Dad on the other hand, taught me something that is invaluable; SPORT IS VERY IMPORTANT. This is something that I know will stand me in good stead in my marriage to Ray! It is said that you marry a man like your Dad and if that’s true – then kind, generous, loving, caring, supportive, always there when you need him and great to hug is what I’m getting. Thanks so much for everything Dad, not least for giving me away – although you were probably glad to get rid of me!

I’d just like to say a few words about three of the most excellent girls one could ever hope to meet. Angie Schofield, Tracie Buckley and Catherine Meakings. I’ve been very lucky to find good friends like them. Angie and her husband came over this morning to blow up balloons and bring the table decorations and cake over. Tracie is kindly going out of her way to Merseyside to take my bouquet to my Aunt who couldn’t make it and Catherine has been to John Lewis for me so often in the last few months that they have given her her own entrance. I just wanted to thank you all, not just for the practical things you have done but for the support you have given me. These small gifts are a huge token of my love and appreciation. Thanks a lot you guys.

So now I turn to my new Husband! Last but certainly not least. I want to thank you Ray for a wonderful day – thank you for all your hard work in realising our dreams – today has been so perfect.
I have never been able to find the right words to express just how I feel about this man who has become my husband today – so I’m going to recite this poem in the hope that it might go someway to let him know just what he means to me.
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I’m with you
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you have made of me
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart
And passing over all the foolish weak things that are held dimly there
And for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings
That no-one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you have helped me to make my life a beautiful life worth living
I love you because you have done more than anything could have done to make me good
And more than any fate could have done to make me happy.

You have done this by being yourself and loving me.
You know, my Nan always told me to marry a rich man – I couldn’t have married a richer man than Ray. He is rich in inner strength, understanding and kindness, in forgiveness and patience. He is my everything and I am very proud to be Mrs Lewis. I‘d like to propose a toast to us – the best is yet to come.

Wedding Speech 3.

A Thankful Wedding Speech by the Bride

Wedding Speech ...

A Thankful Wedding Speech by the Bride


Anyone who knows me well enough will know that it is hard to keep me quiet and today is no exception - I thought it only appropriate that the bride speaks, although I promise to keep it short!
The main reason I wanted to make a speech was to personally say thank you to some very special people who have contributed to today:
(To the groom) Firstly, and most importantly, you've made me so happy since we met two years ago and today is the happiest day of my life. Thank you for making my life complete. Knowing your track record at either missing weddings or forgetting (or losing) your suit, I should also thank you for turning up at the wedding (eventually!) where we me, and, more importantly, thank you for getting to the church on time today and in your suit.

I would also like to say a big thank you to my bridesmaids. Firstly, my sister, for looking after me today and also on my hen weekend! Thanks very much for arranging our weekend in London, I’m sure everyone will agree we had an excellent time and I have a little something for you as a small token of my appreciation. And of course my other gorgeous bridesmaids who've been little angels today. I have a little something here for you both too. Thank you very much.
(Presents gifts)
I would like to thank my mom for all her help and support not just today but over the years and for giving me my “something old” which I'm wearing for luck today. I have a small gift from us for you.
I couldn't have been luckier to have such wonderful in-laws, thank you for making me feel so welcome in your family and for all your support with the wedding arrangements. A special thank you to my mother-in-law for sorting out the bridesmaids outfits and for making all of the invitations and order of service cards which were beautiful. And to my father-in-law, thank you for your lovely reading in church today. We also have a small gift for you both.
I would also like to thank all my friends who have contributed to today and helped with the arrangements. Thank you so much to all my wonderful friends for their friendship over the years. They have a1ways been there for me when I really need them.
Lastly, thank you to everyone for coming today to celebrate with us.
I hope you all enjoy yourself.

Wedding Speech