Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom


Well, as Henry VIII said to each one of his wives … 'I shall not keep you long'.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this day is an historic day, on this day in 1666, the Great Fire of London started - nothing to do with my wife's cooking. And on this day in the year 2000, you attended this wedding reception and heard the finest wedding speech of your entire lifetime, and my best man Michael will be making it.

I after all, did have a great speech worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead.
Thank you - All

So on behalf on my wife and I. We would like thank you all for coming here today and sharing our special day with us. Especially those who have travelled some distance to be here, including our chief bridesmaid Suzy and her boyfriend Chris who have come all the way from Canada via Glasgow.

We would also like to thank you all very much for your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful presents. I was afraid that putting a dinner service on the wedding list was not such a good idea. When I discussed it with Mel I suggesting we should get a dishwasher, but she told me not to worry, she's going to get one when she's married - Me!

We had considered getting married abroad, but we decided we would prefer to share our day with all of you. And I'm glad we did. Here's to all of you who are all very special people, picked by us both and may we all have a great day (toast).

Thank you - Brian

Brian, thank you for those kind words, (you hope that you won't let him down/are proud to be his son-in-law, live up to his expectations etc. Having lived with Mel for 3 years now, I think I am prepared well enough.)

I must say that both Hazel and yourself always make me feel very welcome when I come to visit.
In view of the fact that my new Mother-in-Law is so close, I don't want to say much, other than only Adam had no Mother-in-Law - that's how we know he lived in paradise.

Thank you - Parents

We would like to thank both sets of parents as we wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them.
We would like to thank them all for your love and support over the years. For all the advice you have given us.
For putting up with us and pointing us in the right direction.
Thank you for all the help with today's preparations, the flowers, cravats, favours, finance the list is endless.
So as a thank you to both sets of parents we have a small gift for you.

Thank you - Mel

I must thank Brian and Hazel for bringing up such a lovely daughter.
But also due to the number of phone calls between Mel and her mother, BT would also like to thank you both.
I asked Mel's mother in the church, how did Mel look in her Wedding dress, she said looked wonderful, but that didn't prepare me enough for when I saw her walk down the isle. I was overwhelmed to the say the least by how beautiful Mel looks today.

So, to my wife, my bride and joy. - Thank you for everything you have done. You know everything about me and love me just the same. I have my faults, yet you still agreed to marry me. I am extremely lucky today to be the one to marry you - and I hope this is the start of many happy years together.

Together We have been planning this wedding for over a year now, although it seems like a lifetime. It has been slightly more difficult over the past few months as I have been working away from home, but thanks to everyone, everything has come together. So a big thank-you to all that have helped and to Mel who has managed so well when I haven't been around.

Of course, Mel wasn't too happy with me working away, mainly because of the timing but she eventually came around to the idea, she said that she didn't mind me being away from home, just as long as I don't enjoy it! I can safely say it was hell!

Thank you - Michael

I would personally like to thank Michael for agreeing to be my Best Man. Although the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
Michael was reluctant at first, saying that he was an old married man and that I should get someone younger. Well judging what he got up to during the stag night he organised, if that's old and married, then I'm glad I'm heading that way. (PRESENT)

Of course for those who don't know, Michael is my elder brother. Now I know we look nothing alike, I'm just glad I got the good looks in the family. And looking at Mel's brother Chris over there, I'm just glad she doesn't take after him.

Thank you - Ushers and Pageboy

Mel and I would also like to thank Richard and Chris for being ushers today. Thank you Chris for your wordr of advice when we told him we were getting married - You daft git.
We would also like to thank Robert for being a Page Boy today. (PRESENTS)

Thank you - Bridesmaids

A final and big thank you goes to our bridesmaids. We would like to say how lovely the bridesmaids look and thank them all for doing such a wonderful job today. Especially Susy, who as I have already said has travelled all the way from Canada, we would like to thank her for her help and support over the phone and this last week. We have a small gift as a token of our thanks and as a memento of this lovely day.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding. I would like to propose a toast … to the bridesmaids.
Now I'm not going to stand here and give you a load of stale old jokes, I'm going to leave that to the best man.

But, I must say - isn't it funny how history repeats itself? 27 years ago Mel's mom and dad were putting her to bed with a doll - and now it's happening all over again!

And talking of history, this day marks yet another significant anniversary. On this day back in 1901, U.S. president William McKinley was making a speech when some fellow shot him dead, now I'm not much of a one for believing in signs and omens, but there no point in tempting fate, so I think I'll sit down.

Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom VIDEO :

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride 

 Families and friends. 

This has been a terrific day for Bob and I and we are both thrilled you could all be here. I wanted to say a few words in response to my Dad and thank a few people for all their support. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to make these thanks – its amazing how much advice and how many books there are out there for Groom and Best Man’s speeches but there is not a lot out there to help the bride. 

 So having failed to find any sensible advice in print, I thought I would ask around to the family and friends for some advice on what to say this evening. I didn’t get much advice about the speech but they gave me some useful snippets to use. Sarah found out that Bob and I will share our wedding day and anniversary with a very famous Royal – 2 very famous Royals in fact – the Queen obviously as I believe she is having some sort of celebration herself this weekend. The other Royal is the late King Edward who abdicated to be married to the love of his life – Mrs Simpson. Now I expect that Bob and I in time will be more like “The Simpsons” than Edward and Mrs but I trust we can be as happy as that couple were. I have some thanks to make. 

Firstly Andy – thanks for the “hairdo” and busting a gut to get here on time to have a trial run. Ben – thanks for taking photos for our guest book and thank you all for posing and signing it. Sarah – you made your dress, you looked after me on my hen night . You have been the perfect Best Woman and a great friend for may years now. You have always been around for me through thick and thin and it was a privilege to be your bridesmaid last year. 

I have to thank your new husband Ian too for marrying you – it has been fantastic fun planning weddings together and thanks for all your top tips and ideas – many of which you can see we have stolen! Simon – perhaps I should reserve my thanks to you until after your Best Man’s speech! Thanks for being such a good mate to Bob for so long and for brushing up so well today. In fact that goes for all of the ushers too who have supported Bob and have travelled so far to help out today and share our celebrations– including my brother who took to Bob straight away – even coming on holiday with us last year. 

 Sam – mate – joining us on our Honeymoon just isn’t on! My parents have been wonderful in the run up to this wedding -they have been wonderful all my life – supporting me through school and university and have welcomed Bob into the family with open arms. Dad– thank you for your kind words, your input into making today brilliant and for being patient with us in the run up to today – I know blokes don’t care about what colour the flowers should be but you have feigned interest admirably and endured with great humour more than your fair share of wedding talk. 

Mum – you have really worked hard on so many of the little details of today – the table arrangements and flowers, the place cards, the favours, the cake, as well as making numerous phone calls and visits for us. You have helped me choose my dress and I have had great fun having you help organise this wedding. Mum and Dad – thanks for everything and for making Bob so welcome into the family. I know you probably weren’t so sure when we rang you at 3am from Peru to tell you we were getting married – we just got the time difference wrong – sorry about that. Of course, I have special reason to thank Rose and Alistair – their care and support over the years has had a very positive influence over Bob and their very best qualities have rubbed off on him – thanks for your generosity and support for the preparations for the wedding. 

Thanks too for making another wee English Girl so welcome in your family – of course others have paved the way – Susan and Jeff have prepared you for the funny ways of the English – but hopefully as you get to know me and my family you will realise that when it comes to whisky drinking, I can compete with the best of you. Whisky drinking is just one thing I share a passion with Bob for. Poetry and hill walking are others. It was on one of the world’s highest points that Bob proposed to me – at Machu Pichu in Peru. 

Poor Bob was feeling really ill that day – the combination of altitude and a few beers the night before to celebrate reaching the ruin after the gruelling walk of the Inca Trail. Spurred on by romantic thoughts of the wedding we were going to in Lima a few days later for Ivan and Fabiola, he made it most of the way to the ruins, pausing to throw up only once en-route. Picture the scene – we rounded a corner and had one of our first glimpses of the ruins. I ambled up some stone steps to get a good view and joined me and whispered the magic words in my ear. I accepted, of course, and we then asked our guide what the flat platform was that we were standing on was for. 

His reply was “Oh, that is an Incan Sacrificial alter – mainly used for offering virgins to the Sun God”! Well Bob – you didn’t get an Incan Virgin and thankfully you didn’t opt for the traditional thing on that alter but asked me to marry you instead. You all know that Bob was recently re-elected to the city Council with a massive vote once more in his favour. Some of you may also know that he has now been appointed Council Deputy– a great achievement. Bob, please just bear in mind that as long as you are Deputy on the Council, it suits me just fine if you are Deputy at home too. But seriously, I am proud to be here, having married you – proud to be your wife. You are the kindest and most supportive man I could hope to know and I love you very much. I know we will have a wonderful future together. Can I ask you please to raise a glass to my Husband – Bob. Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride

Wedding Speech....Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride Video :

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom 

The groom has used the wedding date as a source for funny lines, comparing their marriage with celebrity couples for comic effect. While preparing this wedding speech I thought it would be interesting to see if any celebrity couples had been married on the same day as us. Paul Simon and Carrie Fisher wed in 1983...and split up after 9 months. 

Oh dear. Also, Madonna married Sean Penn on this day in 1985; and we all know the outcome of that. Unlike the latter, while Lisa is "Like A Virgin," I plan to "Cherish" her forever and I am not afraid to 'Justify My Love." There's always the "Hanky Panky" to look forward to. There are children present, so the less said about "Get into the Groove" the better. We have been together for nearly ten years, and it's been the happiest decade of my life. We first got together at a Halloween party, where she was dressed up as a witch's cat and I was dressed as a crazy axe murderer, 

I was instantly smitten with that kitten I can tell you. She stuck with me through my scabby student days, and she's even managed to suffer living with me for five years. At home, we’re the perfect team - I mess up the house and she tidies. I affectionately call her my Mrs. Mop. In 1998 I popped the question, so like Elvis's toilet door Twenty-five years ago, we've been engaged for a long time. Today she's made me the happiest man on earth, she's my bride and joy.

 And I think you'll all agree she's done a superb job organizing today almost single-handed. (Toast) Please join me and raise a glass to my beautiful bride. To the bride! We'd like to thank the bridesmaids for all their help in the preparation for today, and I think you'll agree they look fantastic. We have some gifts for you. (Hand gifts to them and toasts) To the bridesmaids. We’d like to say a big thank you to our moms for all their love and support over the years. You've both been really good to us. So please join us in a toast. To the moms. 

 Big thanks to the best man, my dear brother. I’m not sure I should give you the gift now with your speech pending. This man had the easiest job on the day, or perhaps he just made it look easy. For someone who's not too steady on his legs (you should have seen him in Amsterdam), he made walking up the aisle an art form today. Thanks for all your help over the years bro’. To the best man. For being there when wee needed him, my dad has always helped us out. Boney M had him in mind when they wrote "Daddycool.” Please raise your glasses and drink a toast. To my dad. And last but not least, we come to the ushers. I've known these chaps for years and they have certainly done the business today. Let’s raise our glasses one more time please. To the ushers. And now for the bit you've all been waiting for, the best man’s speech. I don't mind admitting I'm scared, please be kind. Over to you brother. Wedding speech... wedding-speech-delivered-by-bride.

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Video :

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

I would like to start my speech today by thanking Richard for his kind words. I am really proud to have become Isia’s husband; ever since the day we met I have been treated as one of the family and this has made our Journey to this day that much smoother! Thank you both for your blessing I promise that I will make you proud and live up to the high expectations I am sure you have! Thank you for everything you have both done in making this day so special if it wasn’t for you I am sure I would still be saving. So far the day has been an amazing experience and I am sure it can only get better.

I would also like to thank you on behalf of Isia for all the love and help you have given her over the years. I thank you for making Isia the most loving, caring, sweet and kind person I have ever met.
I really am the luckiest man alive.
Thanks to Mom and Dad:

I would now like to thank my own mom and dad for all the love and support they have given me over the years. I am sure you are looking at me now and thinking what a brave boy? I am not really one for speeches especially in front of 80+ people.

You have always been there for me and helped me though good times and bad especially in my younger days.
If I have ever had a problem where did I go mom and dad of course. I couldn’t ask for two more loving people. I am very proud to have you here with Isia and I on our special day. I know that your love and
support will continue for many years to come.

Thanks to Isia:

I now come to the most important person in my life, and that’s Isia my beautiful bride. I am so proud to say that you are my wife you really do look amazing. I am sure that you will all agree that she has done me proud. I wrote this before today so I never knew until now just how amazing you would look. Knowing you like I do I am sure you will now be getting rather embarrassed and possibly a little pink. But I am sorry I must go on.

We first met at a new years eve party in 1999 we said hello and that was it. I never thought that one day that pretty lady would become my wife. The love story didn’t begin until later that year when Isia decided she would stalk me. She seemed to be everywhere I went and text me constantly although it still hadn’t clicked in my tiny brain just how much she wanted me. Well I am a bloke and we are a bit slow sometimes. I am glad to say she didn’t give up on me and we got together in June of that same year. The months went by and the love got stronger.

We have been though allot in our short time together but have always come out on top no matter what.
As you may know the year 2000 was a leap year so at the end of February I decided it was time for action, I hinted on a number of occasions that our relationship should go that little bit further.

For some reason Isia didn’t realise what I was saying until a quick chat with her mom led to a text message at 3 minutes past 5 on 29th of February. With the words “Will you marry me?” of course I said yes and I soon purchased the ring and did the right thing by proposing on one knee. The only problem was it was in my mom and dads bedroom and all I was wearing was a Blur t-shirt and jeans.

Anyway I did have lots of embarrassing stories to tell about our time together but I think I will save Isia any more embarrassment and continue to praise her instead.

Seriously though I thank you Isia for everything you have done for me and all the love you have given me. I cannot begin to show just how much you mean to me. I love you with all my heart and promise that I will be there for you until the day we part. You are  everything I have ever dreamed of its hard to believe you are real.

Missing People:

Myself and Isia would like to send our love and best wishes to my Uncle Derek and Auntie Doreen who are unable to make it today due to Derek being unwell. I am sure you will all join us in wishing him a speedy recovery.

Thanks to others:

There have been so many people involved in the planning and preparation of our big day, and this is now the time to give thanks to them.

Thank you to Sharon and her staff for allowing us to hold our reception here and for helping us with the planning along the way. I am sure you will all agree it is a beautiful setting.
We would like to give a big thank you to Ros sharp and her mom Carol for the beautiful wedding cake. I am glad to see its still standing.

Thank you to everyone who has given us presents we can’t wait to open them all. They are very much appreciated and will be used everyday by Isia while she slaves away in the kitchen. Well she has duties now doesn’t she? We will be holding a car boot sale soon so if you are after a toaster I am sure we have a nice one going cheap?

Thanks to Gary and Andrew:

I would like to thank my brother Gary and nephew Andrew for agreeing to be our ushers today. You have both done a great Job and managed to keep the rabble in order without the need for violence.

Thanks to Dave:

I would now like to say thank you to Dave for being my best man. We have been mates for many years and you truly are the best man for the Job. You have helped me in many ways and given me good advise on how to treat Isia. I thank you for all the help and support you have given me especially over the last few weeks, and for putting up with my moaning. My stag night was great fun and I am sure all those who attended will agree. I hope you are about to prove you’re the best man by given me lots of praise in your speech. If not you better leave now.

But seriously I mean it when I say how pleased I am that you have done me the honour of being my best man and best mate. Cheers Dave.
Thanks to Claire, Charlotte, and Eleanor:

Our next and final big thank you goes out to three beautiful young ladies Claire, Charlotte, and Eleanor. We would also like to wish Eleanor a Happy Birthday for tomorrow. Isia and I would like to say how lovely you all look and thank you for doing such a wonderful Job.

Gift Presenting:

Before I pass you over to Dave for the speech of the day, I would like to present a few gifts to various members of our wedding party
to say thank you for the help you have all given on this special day.

I will start by given a bouquet of flowers to our mom’s who have been an invaluable part of our lives. We would also like to give one more bouquet to another special lady and that’s Isia’s Nan.

We also have gifts for our two ushers Gary and Andrew, and my best man Dave.
Finally I would once gain like to thank our bridesmaids and present them each with a gift.

Ladies and gentleman will you please raise your glasses in a toast to our three bridesmaids.

Hand over:

Now here is the part of the afternoon you have all been waiting for my best man Dave.
Thank you!

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Video :

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom 

  Wedding Speech :

On behalf of my wife and I, I would like to start by thanking Leon for his kind words and I’d like to thank him on behalf of everyone here today for providing the wedding feast. I would also like to thank Leon and Mindy for welcoming me into their family and their kindness and friendship since I first met them, though obviously they didn’t know me at the time else they might have locked their daughter up to keep her safe from me! And on that note I would also like to thank them for providing me with my bride without whom today would have been slightly more difficult even though the best man did offer to stand in…...but that’s another story. So, Leon and Mindy, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would like to thank my own mom and Ian for their support and assistance in making today happen and for welcoming Becky into our family. I would especially like to thank my mom, not only for always being there for me but also because she has tried many times to get Becky to back out of this wedding but she did a terrible job and it went ahead anyway. So thank you so, so much. I would also like to give extra special thanks to Bill and Sarah Fuckley. Without them showing me the way forward, giving such a brilliant example of how two people who love each other should move forward together, I know that I would not have been the happiest man in the world today. So, thanks to you too. I would like to thank everyone here for coming today. I would particularly like to extend a warm welcome to Gary Wilson, a mate from childhood, who came all the way from Bermuda and has asked me to tell you he is young, free, single and filthy rich, and to tell you all that it means a lot to us both that everyone that is important to us could be here not only to celebrate our wedding day but also so that some of you could meet your new relatives – and with that goes my apologies, especially to the children and people with weak hearts in case the particularly ugly ones are scaring you as much as they do me. Seriously though, we are very grateful for all your good wishes and your generous gifts. I would also like to thank Chris Leighton and Steven Dunne for delivering the readings in the ceremony today and Steven would like to extend the same message of wealth and availability as Gary did earlier. Mostly I would like to thank Mrs Stuart for agreeing to marry me in the first place as I can be a right arse at times! Becky, I knew you would look wonderful today and you took my breath away when you came down the aisle. I want everyone to know how lucky I am to marry someone so beautiful, intelligent, kind, genuine, sixty……….sorry, does that say sixty or sexy……….sorry, I can’t read your writing Becky! Anyway, at this point I‘m supposed to tell you how Becky and I met but I can’t remember most of it due to the beer and she has made me promise not to tell what I can remember so you don’t think any less of her, but I can tell you that I knew from the beginning that Becky was right for me and I’m glad it turned out to be mutual. However, since I have been with Becky I have learnt a few valuable lessons. Whenever you're wrong – admit it! Whenever you're right - Keep quiet and pretend you’re wrong anyway! And the correct response to anything she ever asks me is “yes my love” and try not to moan about how unreasonable I know it is. But, at the end of the day I know that I’m getting the best deal out of this marriage and that you make me want to be a better man and I know that we are going to make each other very happy for the rest of time. Will that do my love? Finally I would like to thank the best man for getting out of bed to be here today. I have known Mark Geelan for about 16 years or so and he also wants me to tell the ladies that he is solvent and single too……….so ladies and gentlemen I give you the best man. Wedding Speech 

thankful-wedding-speech-by-bride.

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Video :